well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
