just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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