Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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