I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
