Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
