Christians are straight up FREAKS
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
