Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
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Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
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My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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