You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
