hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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