Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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