Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
