You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
