Only a mothe r could love this liver
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
