Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I will be naked everywhere
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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