walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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