You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
