im holly from the hills drunk
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
