Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
