I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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