I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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