Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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