shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
