I could make wine with my vomit
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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