Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
