i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
