seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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