Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
