brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I CAN MOONWALK!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
