i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
