Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
