So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
