you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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