Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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