you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
