I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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