dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My liver just had a heart attack.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
