I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You ruined the universe
Randomize
