nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
