he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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