I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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