are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
