I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
