And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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