wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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