It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
