Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
