Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
