sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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