just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
