i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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