have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
