I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
