spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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