i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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