Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
