Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
