dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
