did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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