Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I am midnight drunk by noon
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
