everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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