You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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