Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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