Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
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she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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