He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
