Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize