You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
