Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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