It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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