In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
where are my eyebrows?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
